Things I Know and Things I Wish I Knew - The FFS Friday Variety Hour.

It's Friday!! Apparently Good Friday (hands up all the Stay At Home Mums who beg to differ?) And I'm FFS'ing with Move, Fuel, Love, sharing the Things I Know with Help! I'm Stuck and Flogging my Blog at With Some Grace. Enjoy! 

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I know for a fact that my oldest two children are out to collectively kill me this week. The oldest, my stepson Bozo, is enlisting the help of his mum and grandmother in this task…FFS

I know that Bozo has been lying to all of the adults in his life, because I’ve caught him doing it on more than one occasion. When his father and I bring it up with the mother and grandmother (hereafter known as the Tweedles (as in Dum and Dee), we’re told ‘He’s just a little boy testing his boundaries’. 

HE ISN’T A LITTLE BOY, HE’S NEARLY 11 YEARS OLD! HE’S ONLY LYING BECAUSE YOU TWO MAKE IT ACCEPTABLE!! FFS

I wish I knew why the Tweedles, seemingly two adult members of society believe that lying to everyone for everything is at all acceptable.

I know that Boo is using my own stress and panic in her efforts to kill me. She’s taken to picking up and carrying around her baby sister. FFS

She’s 5 years old, her sister weighs well over 11kg, and Boo’s muscle tone isn’t the best because her ridiculously huge tonsils have stunted her development. FFS

I finally lost it this week and made her spend 6 hours in her room. It was cruel, but all I’ve done this week is tell her not to do things – 4 to 5 times per thing.

I wish I knew a way to get the ‘no means no’ message into her head.

I know I don’t want to smack her.

I know that Diddy is teething. How do I know? 3 weeks of screaming, drooling, chewing baby. And half a tooth. FFS

Half a tooth?!? After the carry-on she should have five of the mofo’s….

I know, trust me I do, that it’s hurting her, and I’m doing everything I can to soothe that hurt.

But I wish I knew why it was designed that teething is such a bitch for everyone involved. FFS

I know my darling Husband wants Diddy to have her first chocolate on Easter Sunday. Surprisingly I'm ok with this. In fact, I have a photo shoot idea I want to try.

I'm just not sure I can handle the mess. FFS

I know, after denying the fact for ages, that if I get up a little earlier and do my makeup and look presentable, I feel 1000% better about my day of kid-wrangling.

I know that I turfed most of a my makeup a few years ago, and the rest of it has gone gluggy, so I need to go shopping and replace my stash. No FFS!

I can hear my credit card sobbing already FFS

I wish I knew how to apply makeup properly.

I know now, after 2 weeks of school holidays that the first day of school (Tuesday) can’t come fast enough. My little button-pusher Boo is aching to go back to school and I can’t wait to drop her off because she’ll be much more pleasant. 

I know, however, that in a week and a half she’s going for her tonsil removal which means ANOTHER WEEK AT HOME. FFS