Facebook and Schoolyard Stories

I’m starting to get a little sick of Facebook. *gasp* What? I know, right?

On Sunday night, a man who was well-known and beloved in my little town chose to end his life. Tellingly, all of yesterday there were posts of love and support to his partner and family, R.I.P statuses from friends and sentimental remember-when posts. I knew the man vaguely. Well enough to say hi, and to feel sad, but not so well to post myself, or comment on these posts. B did know him, and had seen him a few hours beforehand, so he was a little more shaken.

I understand all of this. I get people expressing grief and sadness, and I respect it. What I don’t get it what happened this morning. A 17-year-old girl posted ‘Whats the go with the death in C-town yesterday?’ (or words to this effect, the post has since been removed, you’ll see why).

I replied ‘a man died late Sunday night, is this what you’re referring to?’ to which teenybops replied ‘I heard it was a suicide’. I know I should never have replied in the first place, and I certainly should not have bitten back, but this is why Facebook pisses me off, so I shot back; ‘Yes, a man committed suicide. He was well-known in town, but the details don’t need to be known by anyone who doesn’t know them already’. I followed this up  with ‘(not to be a bitch, but does this sort of stuff doesn’t need to be broadcast all over Facebook, does it?)’

The post was removed a few minutes later. And here’s where I reach my point. This girl clearly didn’t know the man in question in any way, shape, or form. She clearly had heard a rumour and was looking for backup gossip, and had no idea of how ghoulish this is. If the man’s partner or family see this post, how much is that going to hurt them? And how morbid is seeking details of a stranger’s suicide? I know we all have our curiosities. We love reading the news for details of the crimes of others, but when that curiosity can get back to the grieving, that’s MORBID.

Facebook is such a valuable tool for keeping connected in family and friends, but it’s becoming dangerous in so many ways.

People can jump on bandwagons without having the full story on what they’re supporting, and be over it in 25 seconds or less (KONY2012, anyone?). They can rant and rave and have strident opinions, and truly believe they will change the opinions of others – what came out of Kochie’s mouth is deplorable, and I 100% support breastfeeding in public, but sending him photos of YOU feeding YOUR baby isn’t going to change his mind. His opinions are his own, as are yours. And people can spread gossip, rumours and half-truths with all sorts of abandon. It's high-school without the uniforms or shared drinking fountains. And just like high school, at the end of the day it's mostly petty and meaningless. SHUT RIGHT UP.

I’m giving up on surfing Facebook. I’m there to share the parts of my life I want the whole world to see. If I wouldn’t tell it to strangers in the supermarket, I’m not sharing it with the randoms on Facebook, and I’ll have no part in the myriad bullshit that Facebook seems to beget. Join me?

Hey guess what? I'm getting a bit more blog-savvy. So now I Blog on Tuesdays with Essentially Jess