WAAAAH!!

I’m still holding back a few tears as I write this post. My gorgeous, precious Miss O started at Big Kindergarten today. Yesterday was her fourth birthday, and today she put the world’s biggest backpack on and went to Kinder. Time to face the music, my little baby girl is growing up.

Since she was born, O has been my whole life and my everything. I separated from her Dad when she was 9 months old, and we were on our own. But even before that, I was the one who did it all. I washed, fed, played with, sang to, babywore my little girl. At 10 weeks, I started putting her in a half-day of daycare so I could work or try desperately to rest (I’ll say it again, Chronic Fatigue SUCKS).  As time went by, O’s daycare hours increased while I was studying or working, and I relished my free time but within half an hour of her being dropped off, I was pining for her.

O has always loved her time at daycare. She loves seeing her friends, because she is a mini-socialite. She adores having people her own age around, and she LOVES being bossy. She’s been with the same daycare centre since she was a teeny-tiny baby and for most of that time has had the same carer. It’s just so happened a woman we adore has managed to bounce from room to room in the same timeframe as my little girl. The ladies at the centre have been through everything with us. Two relationship breakdowns, countless bouts of illness, separation anxiety (for both of us),  Christmases, 3 birthdays, 3 Easters and so many pajama and dress-up days.  I’ve been lucky that O’s kinder is run by the same people as her daycare. She’s going to a place run with the same principles and procedures, but the people are different, and that could take a little getting used to.

Not to mention the extra preparation. I’ve never had to be lunch mummy. This morning was a hectic mess while I tried to work out what Her Highness would eat for lunch (Yoghurt and a ‘Vegebutter and Cheese Sandwich’ – yes, that’s Vegemite, butter and cheese), had a frantic ‘Let’s find the lunchbox’ game (it was in the spare room. What the actual fuck?) and tried to cram all the goodies for my princess into said lunchbox (my kid eats a LOT, Tupperware I’m sorry but your coolpack isn’t quite big enough). At the end of the day, I may find she didn’t eat half of it, and I’ll scale back on Wednesday, but I have no clue how much she’ll need! She’s been fed by the centre for the past nearly-4 years!

I know this is a normal transition, that O is excited beyond belief and that my anxieties are unwarranted, but I’m still going to be nervous for her. I’m still going to miss her desperately. But, as always, when she’s home, there’s a very good chance I’ll be BEGGING GOD to make kinder days come quicker so I can have some peace!! And I reserve my right as a parent to have all these things happen.

There were to have been photos with this post, but I seriously cannot manage to work out the Blogger photo uploader. Anyone who can help gets my eternal love and a GOLD STAR xo