Friday, October 25, 2013

FFS Friday: Mofo took my snacks

Note to self: Never trust trackies
Thought I’d look back through my pregnancy selfies on Monday and marvel at how much smaller I am now...

Turns out, apart from the space where my bump was, every other FREAKING part of me has nearly doubled in size since I gave birth...FFS

I was gonna post comparison pics here, but refuse to take photos of myself right now.

Whoever said breastfeeding helps you drop the kilo’s is a liar. I checked, I’m 4kg heavier than when I gave birth... FFS

I’m walking for an hour at least 5 times a week, how the hell is this happening FFS?

Turns out I’m eating heaps of crap food...FFS

Don’t get me wrong, I buy healthy stuff and it leaves the fridge and cupboard, so I convince myself I’m eating it.

Not the case. Husbeast is eating all my healthy awesome snacks. I, in turn, am eating the CRAP I buy for him, Boo and Bozo...FFS

I’m so tired and busy I don’t even realise I’m not getting to eat all the awesomeness...FFS!!

I now have to find places in my house to hide my goodies so Husbeast doesn’t inhale them in 30sec flat... FFS

If he does, I’m not buying him anymore of his snacks...FFS

No cheese kranskies, no shitty chocolate muesli bars, no Shapes...FFS

As soon as I cut off the crap and decide we’re all on a diet he’ll decide he doesn’t like my snacks...FFS

I’m going to start walking twice a day to try and shed the extra kilo’s properly...No FFS

Because nothing in my closet fits...FFS

And I’ve been wearing Yoga pants every day and hadn’t noticed my expansion... Oh FFS!!

Another Friday, another linkup with Dear Baby G for FFS Friday and With Some Grace to Flog my Blog.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Diddy at 2 Months

Time flies when you’re sleep deprived!! Miss Diddy hit the 2 month milestone on Saturday, and things have definitely changed in the past month!

Two weeks ago, we discovered that my breastmilk wasn’t providing adequate nourishment for our little princess. She wasn’t gaining any weight, and was breastfeeding 17-20 hours per day just to have enough sustenance to survive on. Following this, I made the decision to switch her to full formula feeding and since then we haven’t looked back. She’s gained over a kilogram in those two weeks (as opposed to 280g in the 7 week prior) and is now fat, happy and on track. She goes nuts when she sees that bottle aimed her way, it’s pretty awesome to see!!

Pre-weight gain. Skinny little chicken with great big eyes
Photo by Captured Momentz Photography
Diddy smiles freely now at anyone who glances her way, but she reserves the biggest, brightest smiles for her big sister. If I put her in the swing and turn away to do something, I’ll hear Boo saying ‘Happy Smiles!’ and look around to find her parked in front of the swing and the two girls grinning at one another. She’s learning, slowly, how to laugh too. She laughs a lot in her sleep, which swings between precious when we’re awake and watching, and creepy when we’re asleep and hear her from the next room.

My two beautiful babies.
Another wonderful image by Captured Momentz Photography
After weeks and weeks of screaming baths, trying desperately to make bathing her in her change table tub work, Husbeast and I started jumping in the big bath with her, one of us cuddling and one support person fetching, carrying and holding the towel. Doing this has made bathtime her favourite. She kicks and laughs, tries to swim and revels in the precious time, as do her Mummy and Daddy.

Diddy has found her voice the last few days and loves to coo and chat to anyone interested in a conversation. She loves lying in her pram gurgling away to herself, her monkey, her reflection in her pram mirror and me. We walk for around an hour each day and thanks to the bassinet attachment on my Strider, she can doze, play and enjoy the time with lots of toys and comfort close at hand.
Making out with her glow worm....Why can't I produce normal children?

She’s also slowly finding her hands. Under her playgym she can now hit at her toys deliberately so they move and if you pop a squeaky friend near her, she can make them squeak herself by hitting or grasping them. She gets the most beautiful smug look on her face afterwards!

Sophie la Giraffe - Chewtoy and occasional lovey
She sleeps in her own bed, in her own room these days. I know they say to sleep a baby in your room, but her room is so close to ours that really, she’s no further away in her room than she was in the corner of ours, and I find Husbeast sleeps better this way. She sleeps between 5 and 9 hours unbroken, depending on the night and what kind of day we’ve had, and her sleeping is meaning I’m a happier, more relaxed Mama.

Babywearing like a Boss - Wasn't smiling like this a few days prior!
All in all, at two months I’m finally relaxing into being a Mum of two (occasionally three). With feeding and sleeping issues under control, I wake most days ready to take on the world and give my girls everything they need from me. And I can’t wait to see what the next day, week and month bring!

Happy 2 Months Imogen!! 

Did you know that I Blog On Tuesdays with Essentially Jess? Pop over and check the link up to read some other fantastic blogs :)

Friday, October 11, 2013

BabyWearing or Bust

When she was 5 weeks old, I bought Boo her first sling carrier. It was the cheapest Big W had at the time, but we loved it. Boo was a ‘no pram’ baby, if I put her in a pram she’d SCREAM so having the sling was a blessing. She slept in it better than most other places, I could walk down the street with her comfortably tucked inside. I even took her to see the sixth Harry Potter asleep in her sling.

 As she got older, she would sit in the sling with her upper body hanging out, like a little joey in a pouch. She loved smiling at passers-by and chatting to them, a benefit she wouldn’t have had in the pram. Beyond that, I was right there for any little disturbance she had. Thanks to the sling, teething and illnesses were a breeze. No screaming or pining, she knew I was right there and that my hands, which supplied the cuddles, the teething rings, the comfort of all kinds, were never far away.

I’ve since found out that the sling I was using has been recalled by the manufacturer. Much as I loved it, I’ve refused to use it for Diddy just to be on the safe side.

I bought a brand-new sling while I was pregnant with Diddy. A Minimonkey 4-in-1 which I adore, but turns out she hates. She’s not keen on being cradled and would much prefer to be upright, seeing what’s going on or stickynosing at the world around her. She loves her pram for a walk (small mercies), but for around home and doing groceries, I needed something else. I’d read a lot on Dear Baby G about how much Sarah loved her ErgoBaby carrier. More reading revealed all the benefits –the ergonomically correct ‘seated’ baby position, the fantastic weight distribution which I’d experienced using a friend’s a few years back, and the ease of use. So off we went to Babies-R-Us and came home the proud owners of our very own ErgoBaby Bundle of Joy package – the classic carrier and newborn insert. 

Sigh.... I would've loved using this everyday
Image Source
And the verdict? We FREAKING LOVE IT!

Diddy was initially a bit cranky at the stuffing around while Husbeast and I worked it out, but once she realised that the carrier meant she could go everywhere with Mummy, tucked in nice and close and no-one was going to try and make her hang out on her own, she became an instant fan, and slept amazingly while I did groceries, laundry and dishes.

The new love of my pics of mine yet, but they're coming!! 

The carrier is easy to put on quickly, and can be done solo. It adjusts easily once on so that Husbeast and I can switch off on big days out without too much stuffing around with buckles and straps. A few quick pulls and it converts from Mummy to Daddy-sized in seconds. I can breastfeed discreetly on the go (once we build a bit of confidence doing it at home) and it’s comfy for both Diddy and I. 

I’m determined to Babywear Diddy as much as possible. Boo has benefited so much from the time she spent hanging out on me. She’s secure in the knowledge that, wherever I might be, I’m still right there. I’m glad we’ve found a piece of equipment we adore to give Diddy that same positive grounding and base to explore from. I’m excited to once again experience the world with a baby hanging off me, being adorable and charming people, giving me love-looks and being my little companion.

Note: This isn’t a sponsored post. I’ve just fallen in love with the Ergo product and wanted to share my amazing experience so far!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Still so Tiny

I’m a mess of emotions as I write this. Overwhelmed, worried, tired....more that I can’t think of the names of (see the third emotion).

For weeks now, Diddy has been breastfeeding pretty constantly. Out of each 24-hour period, maybe 6 of them have been spent without a baby attached to my breast. I’ve told myself that this was OK, because I was giving her the very best start in life. Visits to the Maternal and Child Health nurse were showing she wasn’t putting on much weight, but I figured any gain was good, and kept on keeping on. I was expressing and topping up occasionally, but mostly to relieve blocked ducts.

Yesterday morning, we had a 7-week weight checkup which showed my beautiful girl has gone two weeks without any weight gain at all. She’s growing tall, but not fat. As of Wednesday, she’s only 230grams over her birth weight. Not good at all, I’m totally aware.

For weeks, people have been looking at her and going ‘she’s still so tiny!’ and I’ve told myself that it was ok, sometimes breastfed babies are small. But everytime someone says it, it’s niggled at me and later on I’ve been teary about it.

Turns out, a massive dose of oral thrush has hit my poor baby, making it painful for her to suck and affecting her little body so much. It’s been 3 weeks since I noticed the white around her mouth, but I was sure it was just milky residue on the skin. No-one else was telling me to be concerned, so it was OK, right? Apparently not. She’s got blisters around her beautiful lips, and her ineffective sucking hasn’t been getting all the good stuff out of me.

Did you hear that? Pretty sure my heart breaking was audible around the world.

Yesterday, the tears fell all day. I felt inadequate. I’d been starving my baby and her sweet, content nature and my demand-feeding philosophy meant I’d been missing it for weeks. It was time to put a plan in place. Now, I’m breastfeeding, followed by a bottleful of expressed milk. Once a day, if needed, I’ll give her a formula feed, just to make sure her tummy stays nice and full. I’ve been avoiding formula, but last night when Husbeast gave her the bottle, she was ‘milk drunk’ for the first time in weeks. She was so content and satisfied, and I can’t deny my baby that happiness, especially not when she’s still getting all the good stuff I have to offer.

I’ve started treating the hideous thrush, I’m pumping after every feed (surely the Medela Swing is a gift from some higher entity? AMAZING) and I’m making sure my baby is full, happy and on the way to recovering from a crappy few weeks. It breaks my heart that it took me so long to realise something was wrong.

Yesterday, I was forced to admit something was wrong with me, too. Not just sleep deprivation (though that’s sure as hell not helping), not hormones and not my run-of-the-mill anxiety. Yesterday I admitted out loud that this time around I’ve been hit with Post-Natal Depression. 

I’m scared, I’m sad, I’m angry and I’m exhausted. But mostly I’m relieved to finally know what’s going on with my baby, why she’s ‘still so tiny’ and be working to fix it. I’m relieved to have admitted something serious is up and be taking steps to fix it. I’m glad I got there before I did something to hurt myself or either of my precious babies. And I’m glad that, even though she’s skinny, my tiny baby is still developing. She smiles now, and no matter how crappy I feel, when she hits me with that huge, gummy grin, I know I’m doing something right.