Thursday, January 17, 2013

The C Word

Today is a screaming kind of day. (I promise when there’s a super happy bouncy one I’ll be here too, but for now strap yourselves in, time to vent)

I rang my mum this morning to check in, and let her know about my brand-new bed rest situation, and she very calmly told me ‘cool, ok, look after yourself....Now that the wedding’s over, I need you to know something. Don’t stress about it, but it’s fair to tell you’.

By now, my stomach’s on the floor. Those are never really good words, and I wasn’t sure what to expect, but what I got was this.
‘Katherine’s cancer is back, and it isn’t looking good. So for awhile my priority is going to be here, looking after her and the kids.’
Way worse than I was imagining.

Katherine is Mum’s close friend and work colleague. For a few years now, she’s been battling awful cancers. She’s had chemo, radiotherapy, a radical hysterectomy and no end of pain management treatments. She’s suffered with the kind of grace I wish I had just in everyday life, and has stayed a lovely, sweet person. So many things suck about Katherine’s situation, but the heartbreakers for me are: 1. Katherine is somewhere in her 30’s. Not even her late 30’s... and 2. Katherine has 2 kids under 8 years old. 

When mum and I spoke this morning, and I found out that she’s been holding this information for several weeks so I didn’t wig out in the lead-up to the wedding last weekend (thanks, Mumma, totes faith in my coping abilities....but yeah pretty accurate), she basically told me that the end of the line is here. This is the ‘managing of pain’ station, the last stop. It’s the waiting game now and it’s broken my heart. Listening to my mum stay so strong, as she always does, and knowing that this is the kind of strong she puts on when we’re out of luck and chances. My heart is hurting, and I need to say a few things. (Swearing alert. Those of delicate sensibilities, you know where I’m going, just stop reading)

FUCK YOU CANCER. FUCK YOU AND THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD TODAY!! One of the sweetest, loveliest people I know is counting time, waiting for the end and there are ASSHOLES running around this world getting away with truly despicable shit. 2 kids have to wait to lose their mother, and that mother knows there is NOTHING LEFT TO TRY! FUUUCCCKKK!!!!!

Hug your kids, people. Kiss your husband, love your life. Seize today and MAKE IT SOMETHING!! And never, ever forget how precious life is. It could be gone before you know it.

I've linked this post up with Flog Yo Blog Friday.



  1. *Hugs*
    Fuck cancer indeed. It's always the good ones. You never hear a story of an asshole dying of cancer.

  2. Oh Tara thats hard, really hard. My heart is aching for Katherine & her family. She's so lucky to have a good friend in your mum.
    Prue x

  3. Oh how awful! Katherine sounds very brave!! I am swimming a 3km Ocean Swim this weekend to fill in for a friend who has had to pull out for personal reasons. I have done no training at all and am pretty nervous! It's all in aid of Cancer research and after reading your post I know I can do it and it will all be worth while!! (visiting from FLBF)
    Mrs D xx

  4. Thanks so much for reading and commenting ladies.
    Kelly, if you heard about assholes dying from Cancer it may make it a little easier (well, probably not, but I'll believe it)
    Prue, Mum has been amazing to Katherine. Gone to appointments, looked after kids, cleaned the house. I'm like her, we wouldn't be anywhere but where our people need us.
    Mrs D, what a fantastic cause to be involved in!! Good luck, I hope you'll pop in and let me know how it goes afterwards

  5. That's so unfair but cancer always is, isn't it? I will definitely hug my husband and my children extra tight tonight. Hugs to you and your family and to Katherine and her family. Kirsty @ My Home Truths

  6. What a sweet Mama you have to protect you when you had so much already going on. I feel so sad for Katherine and her children.

  7. I can't express my hatred for C - I hate to even speak it, in fear that another person close to me or my family are associated with it. Sorry for the shitty news. Emily

  8. Thanks to Kev at the Illiterate infant I found your blog too! But such a sad post. I thought you were going to say a different C word. Fuck cancer HARD. I don't have words - unusual for me - but I am so sick with sadness for Katherine and her family and your mum - wow - what a champion for holding it in and being her rock. Hard for you too - it sounds a lot like you need her right now with your bedrest. (I've been there -3 months on nub no 2 aaaaaaaaaagh!!!). Suck balls all round.

    1. Thanks for popping over for a squizz, Kim. I love your blog, I'm working my way through a few of your posts now.
      Mum always holds it together, she's a superstar!
      I cannot believe you had 3 months of bedrest!! I've only been on mine for a week and I'm shirking it every opportunity I get, because I'm going MENTAL!!